We’ve all been there. Going through a breakup can be painful, especially if you’re new to the breakup game. There’s no quick fix for the heartbreak you’re about to endure, but there is (thankfully) a list of things not to do when it doesn’t work out with your other half.
It’s completely normal to have a drink and calm the nerves after going through a traumatic breakup. Your friends may even insist on taking you out for the night to booze your worries away. But be warned, after one too many drinks your crazy self may get the better of you and before you know it you’re calling your ex and drunkenly slurring down the phone. Deleting your ex’s number permanently is a good idea anyway, but it’s a definite must before any alcohol is involved.
Sleeping with an ex
We all know how tempting it is to booty call your ex. As soon as she sees your name on her caller ID she’ll either get butterflies, hoping you want to get back together, or — if it’s midnight or after — she’ll know it’s a booty call and will not be too pleased. Sleeping with an ex is easy and familiar, but it’s not fair to drag her or yourself back into something you’ve ended. If you’ve had a messy breakup, revisiting that kind of affection is always going to bring up complicated feelings. So get on Tinder or ask your mates to set you up with someone if you’re craving intimacy. Don’t go back to something you know you ended for a good reason just for a little comfort. It’s not fair to yourself or to her.
Hooking up with your ex’s friends
At first she was probably confused you were calling her, and now she may be warming up to your charms. But this is a never, never ever. Hooking up with your ex’s friends is an even bigger mistake than sleeping with your actual ex. If you’re looking to get revenge on an ex there are other ways to satisfy that need. As well as just being a bad move, the news will more than likely spread quickly and you’ll end up being the horrible one instead of the better man.
Eating your feelings
When your love life goes pear-shaped, it’s easy to curl up in bed with Netflix and Ben and Jerry for some quality time. It may seem like a good idea in the moment, but hiding your feelings in chocolate, pizza and ice cream will just make you feel worse as you eventually realise that all the food in the world won’t fix your broken heart.
Trying to make your ex jealous on social media
If you haven’t got round to deleting your ex on Facebook or unfollowing them on Twitter, it is that time, friend. But if you haven’t, then one thing you definitely shouldn’t do is flaunt your newfound freedom in their face. By all means get a new haircut, buy some new clothes, but retain some dignity and don’t splash it all over your social media profiles. Most people will know that you’re not fine, so there is no point putting on a big façade. Also, unfortunately for your heart, your ex doesn’t care as much as you think they do. That’s why they’re your ex.
Stalking your ex
Whether it’s literally or figuratively, we’ve all probably done it. Stalking your ex’s Facebook page for any signs of new romance, checking if they’re going out loads or curled up in bed mourning your failed relationship, is pretty standard. It’s not easy to get over your ex if they keep popping up on your newsfeed. It’s time to unfriend, unfollow and move on with your life.
Publically dissing your ex
Breakups are always bad in one way or another, and if you got your heart broken, it might be good for you to trash talk your ex to get it all of those horrible feelings out of your system. But be careful who you rant to — don’t diss your ex in public or to their friends. It’ll most likely get back to them and make you look bitter to anyone that hears about it, including your ex. Don’t sacrifice your rep for a bit of trash talk. It’s definitely not worth it.
Lowering your standards
After going through a tough breakup, it may be tempting to get completely smashed and go out on the pull and look for a rebound that your mates keep telling you “will help you move on”. A rebound fling may not help you get over a failed romance but it might be the bit of a fun that you need. A bit of advice, however: lowering your standards is a mistake you’ll definitely regret the next morning. You’re a catch, and treating yourself as anything less will only make you feel bad. Go for someone you would be interested even if you weren’t recovering from a broken heart.
Boring people with your break up sob story
Your friends will always be there for you when going through a breakup — they will listen, comfort and let you cry on their shoulder if you need. But there’s only so much anyone can take. Seriously. We all know how tough breakups can be — it’s not a new experience that you’re alone in going through; we all have to deal with it. So don’t be afraid to talk to your friends, deal with your problems openly but try not to dwell on the sob story.
Begging for your ex back
Well that’s just a bit awkward. For whatever reasons you broke up with your ex, crying and begging is not the way to make amends. If ending your relationship was a mistake, work though the problems, talk it out, and see if there is any chance of reconciliation. Getting down on your hands and knees and begging forgiveness is just going to look desperate and pathetic — and that’s not a good look for anyone.
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