A transgender couple are preparing to tell their children when they get get older that their father actually gave birth to them and the person that they call their mother is in fact their father.
Bianca and Nick Bowser are a happily married couple and live in Kentucky with their two young sons.
Nick, 27, was born a girl, called Nicole, but for the last seven years has lived as a man.
Bianca, 32, who is a drag artist, was born as a boy called Jason, and transitioned to live as a woman 11 years ago.
‘The kids currently have no idea. It’s not like strangers ever guess in restaurants or at the shops.’I don’t know when we will start to tell them,
maybe when Kai is around six, but they will need to be old enough to understand.
‘It is important they know because it’s a big secret to keep from your children and if they found out another way they could hold huge resentment.
‘But I don’t worry about how they will react. We will not treat it as a ‘bad’ thing. And young kids are accepting and non-judgemental.’
She adds: ‘Being transsexual doesn’t define who we are , just as being black or white or skinny or fat doesn’t define you either.’
While Nick and Bianca could have used a surrogate, they were reluctant because it’s expensive.
Nick says: ‘
We have a healthy sex life and we wanted a biological child – this was the only way we could do it.’
Nick fell pregnant with Kai in 2010, but struggled to cope with living as a man with a baby bump.
He says: ‘I didn’t enjoy it. I’m a man and it’s just not easy doing something so feminine, but I coped and we were both so happy when Kai came along.
‘We always wanted Kai to have a sibling, and the second pregnancy was tough too. I had terrible morning sickness and I was really tired.’When I had Kai I’d only recently transitioned, so I didn’t look so manly and people just thought Bianca and I were lesbians.
‘But, when I was a pregnant with Pax, people were really staring at me, which made me feel very selfconscious.’I couldn’t handle the whispering and pointing and by the time of the third trimester I couldn’t leave the house.
‘I only left for doctor’s appointments. People are afraid of what they don’t understand.
Bianca says that although they dislike still having their biological genitalia, having sex has never been a problem.
‘We have the parts so we will use them.If we could change them we would, and they would be the other way around – but we cannot afford it and the children come first.
Courtesy of ‘Agbo Joseph’
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